Growing up, I lived life boldly and undaunted. I embraced life with all that I was. I dreamed freely. Wrote freely. I was outspoken and wasn’t overly concerned about what other people thought or said about me. I lived a “free spirited” life where I was not afraid of being authentically me. One of my high school teachers actually nicknamed me “ayala”, which is an Igbo term for “rebel” or “radical”. LOL.
I loved it. I loved me.
But as I got older, somewhere along the line, all that changed. I became more withdrawn and overly cautious. All of a sudden, people’s opinions-even those who didn’t really know me- became important. Then when I got saved, I felt like I had to be a cookie cutter version of myself. I really felt like I had to be restrained and docile in order to be a “good Christian woman”. I started calculating everything, making sure I never stepped out of line.